my one word, 2010

It's that time of year again! Time for PC3's annual My One Word series. I always look forward to choosing a new word each year, and I love to look back on how my previous year's word evolved and worked in my life. As well as hearing about others'! (For those unaware, My One Word is my church's way of making New Year's resolutions. Instead, we focus on one word for the entire year that reflects the kind of person we want to become. Instead of being paralyzed and doing nothing about all of our flaws and character gaps, we can at least do something about ONE thing.)

My first one word four years ago was "inspire." I resolved to focus on how my actions affected other people. I decided to become more generous with my time by volunteering every Saturday at a therapeutic horseback riding center for special-needs children. Which was awesome, but what I didn't expect was that by the end of the year, as I got more involved and committed to my church, it was the people there who inspired ME.

The next year my word was "position." It was the year I went on my mission trip to Africa, and I decided I would focus on positioning myself to be used by God, whether that was making sure I was in a position to help others or seeking opportunities where I would be more available to act when God called. As this was a year when my prayer life really strengthened, and I found myself more focused on and devoted to relationship with God than ever before, I began to wonder if I had chosen the wrong word... Should it have been "prayer"? Then, while reading a book I was in the middle of at the time, I came across a paragraph basically listing or describing what prayer actually is. And the very last sentence said that prayer is, first and foremost, a POSITION. I couldn't believe what I had read! But I knew I had the right word; it had simply manifested into more areas of my walk with God than I had ever expected.

Last year my word was "rest." Believe me, I did not want this word. I wrestled with it, fought with God for Him not to give it to me. And yet, through His persistence, I was stuck with it. Wanting a more active word and desiring to go to Guatemala on a mission trip that year, etc., I didn't want to see how this word would play out for me. Little did I know, it was exactly the right word for me at that season in my life. Especially once I got a pretty clear "no" from God that it was not my year to do another mission trip, I had to accept the fact that God wanted to stay home and rest. I had several new roles and commitments at church and in life that year—but God taught me to rest. He taught me the importance of it. He taught me to become more disciplined in my quiet time. He taught me to humble myself and realize the importance of praying for a mission team when I myself could not go. He taught me to trust in Him and wait on Him when things in my relationship with Trey were not happening at the time line or pace I was hoping for. And especially now, looking back, I am so glad He knew all along that I needed a year of rest. Because this year, between planning a wedding and co-leading a mission trip and looking for a new house, etc., I am so glad that I learned the discipline of quiet time and leaning on God for all things. That I better understand the importance of being still, even when life is busy around me.

Which brings me to this year. My new one word is: "in." This word has popped into my head for a while now as one I might use. I have always been intrigued by the concept that Jesus spoke of in John 15 when He says, "Remain in me as I will remain in you." You hear this a lot and of course we know that our bodies are temples housing the Lord, that the Holy Spirit is IN us, etc... But what would it look like to be intentionally conscious of that as much as possible? Would we say half the things we say, go half the places we go, listen to half the things we listen to? How can I carry Him with me everywhere I am, not just during my quiet times or at church and church-related activities?

Another big reason for choosing the word "in" is my inclination for "destination thinking." This is my pastor's way of describing the unfortunate mindset we find ourselves in at times when we think, "Once I get to this place in life, things will be better." "Once I do this, then this can happen." "Once this time finally gets here, then this will be different." For me, I can definitely see myself running away with this kind of thinking this year... "Once we get past this part of the wedding planning, then this." "Once we are finally married, then that." The list goes on. And I recognize that I am inclined toward this. I often like to think of the possibility and potential in things (maybe why I'm an editor?), mostly looking with excitement and anticipation toward the future. I am realizing that I really need to practice being IN the present. Enjoying and savoring the moment I am in right now. Not waiting for something to happen but existing and growing in the here and now. Because things don't always happen the way we plan. We might still be in the same boat "once this happens." And God wants us to be who He has created to be regardless of our circumstance. I don't want to completely miss this time of engagement because I am so looking forward to being married. I don't want to slack off reading my Bible and journaling because I have so much else waiting for me to do instead. Basically, I don't want to become so consumed with what God MIGHT have in store that I am not aware of His immediate presence and what He is already doing, right here IN the present. It's time to really recognize God in me at all times and to be fully in the moment!

Here's to 2010... Can't wait to see what my one word will do!